Emotionally Potty Training Men: Who They Are and Why You Attract Them

Emotionally Potty Training Men Are The BIGGEST WASTE OF TIME and ENERGY.

So why are you wasting your time with these fools?

You can tell yourself all kinds of reasons, make all kinds of excuses. These guys are human too and they need a lot of love.

Love and compassion will change these men right out of their dysfunction.

Are you still deluding yourself?

Most of you spend a lot of time with emotionally potty training men until you WAKE UP and see these men cannot meet you or meet your deepest needs.

I bet you’re dating an emotionally potty training guy right now.

Or maybe you just got the courage to leave one.

How do you know you won’t just go for another ‘type’ of emotionally potty training man and recreate the pattern?

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Emotionally Potty Training Men are all over the globe, passing themselves of as real men. These men might be over 25, but they’re anything but MEN. These guys have the emotional intelligence of teenage boys. They have issues up the wazoo. They lack accountability and they turn everything around on you. You are the problem. You are the one with issues.

The truth is you do have issues. You date lame-asses. Your issue is that you don’t see the writing on the wall and you let your need to feel something outweigh the truth.

YOUR INTUITION IS SCREAMING THE ENTIRE TIME… but you’re the BUT girl. You’re the one that knows how messed up it is, but you make excuses for everything.

You’re afraid that if you actually stand in what you know and need you’ll be alone, you might not find it and so you take the scraps and you stay dysfunction.

You know EXACTLY what I am talking about, and the kind of men I am talking about. They comes in all shades of fucked up.

If you are banging your head against a wall, if you feel like you deserve better, if you are tired of never being heard, if you are tired of being taken for granted, or you want a MAN you can grow a REAL RELATIONSHIP WITH, check it out.

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1). YOU HAVE A CHOICE.

2). IF YOU’RE UNHAPPY WITH THE MEN YOU CHOOSE, DON’T WAIT FOR THEM TO CHANGE, LEAVE.

3). DON’T THINK THEIR POTENTIAL WILL MIRACULOUSLY APPEAR ONE DAY. IT WON’T. THINKING YOU’LL BE THE EXCEPTION IS STUPIDITY. MEN DON’T CHANGE FOR WOMEN, THEY CHANGE FOR THEMSELVES.

4). YOU’RE THE ONE THAT NEEDS TO WAKE UP AND REALIZE THAT SPENDING TIME WITH EMOTIONALLY POTTY TRAINING MEN IS A DEAD END.

5). IF THE GUY YOU ARE WITH DOESN’T BLOW YOUR MIND, SERVE YOUR HIGHEST GOOD, AND MAKE VERY SQUARE INCH OF YOU SCREAM YES, HE’S NOT WORTH YOUR TIME.

What I am telling you is black and white. THERE ARE NO SHADES OF GREY.

There are men in this world who care about the kind of men they are and there some men who don’t give a fuck.

Men who don’t give a fuck ARE NOT WORTH IT.

Awake Women have woken up to this reality and have chosen a higher PATH.

We want what we want and we realize that looking for what we need in the unconscious realm doesn’t allow us to receive, doesn’t yield the level of connection we seek, and doesn’t grow our being. WE CHOOSE TO STOP TORTURING OURSELVES.

This is for all of you women who want to take action and change your lives.

SEE THE SIGNS. KNOW THEM. DON’T FUCK WITH THEM OR YOUR MISERY IS ON YOU.

10 TYPES OF EMOTIONALLY POTTY TRAINING MEN

1). THE USER

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This guy is a bonafide addict. Whether he is addicted to love, his bong, pills, booze, sex, fast cars or women, you need to know that addicts are a train wreck waiting to happen. Addicts are the worst kind of escapists. They cannot function unless they are high off something. Addicts live in the world of extremes and for you, that means the highs will be very high and the lows, extremely low.

Why you like them: THEY WANT YOU in a very intense way and that feels really good. Addicts are unpredictable and reckless, which you interpret as dangerous. Whether you want to admit or not, all women like to flirt with a bit of danger. A man who appears to walk the edge and play with duality is seductive. If you are looking to walk on the wild side just make sure you don’t fall off a cliff.

What you really need: you need to find a man who flirts with REAL DANGER. Addicts are searching for highs but they don’t want to do it for themselves, they want a free ride to that high. What you are really looking for is a man who isn’t afraid to get his feet wet and challenge himself to confront his fears. Look for men who want to do the work, not escapists.

2. THE STRAIGHT QUEEN

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These guys are gay fem in every way except for they like to fuck chicks. Gay Straight doesn’t exactly fly for most women. Unless you consciously want to be with a girly man or a man that takes more time to get ready than you, then you’d best know that not all men are created equal. Straight QUEENS are a motherfcuking handful. Unless you are woman who likes a high maintenance man, you’d better recognize. Most of these men are pretty boys. We are talking you want to fuck they’re face they are so gorgeous. Men like this dress well, they smell good, they get mani’s and pedi’s, drive nice cars, have nice things and like the finer things in life. The only caveat, THEY ARE THE GIRL IN THE RELATIONSHIP, and if you are a woman looking for a man, you need to find yourself a fine man who is masculine, not feminine. A little fem is ok; a lot of fem is a headache. Straight queens make amazing guy friends, but often times they have the same kind of issues and insecurities beautiful women have. Their image is everything and these boys need reassurance shoveled at them, constantly. It is a full time job dating a Queen of any kind. So, if you are a woman looking for a man with a developed masculine, steer clear of the Straight Queens.

Why you like them: this might be hard for you to imagine but these guys embody the feminine you want. More than likely you are a masculine woman who likes shiny pretty things. Or you are a masculine woman who is dying to be feminine herself. Going for a fem man is not the answer. Getting in touch with your own femininity would serve you better.

What you really need: A MASCULINE MAN. You are the woman, they aren’t. Don’t let them steal your fire.

3). THE EMOTIONAL BABY

This baby boy is looking for you to pick up where mommy left off. He literally wants you to cook him dinner, wash his clothes, rub all his parts and be a constant in his life that takes care of all of his needs. You won’t know if you should nurse him or blow him. Men like this act like babies, talk like babies, throw tantrums like babies. You will feel more like a mom than a girlfriend. God forbid you get mad at this baby boy, cause no one wants to fuck MEAN MOMMY.

Why you like them: you are trying to heal your childhood wounds by playing mommy and baby with your partner. More than likely you are having the best fucked up sex you’ve ever had. Most likely you are healing some major emotional wounds, but these relationships rarely last. Do you really want to be fucking your daddy and mommy issues in someone else? Cause that is exactly what you are doing. Men like this can’t be your daddy and mommy and a good partner, it just doesn’t work like that.

What you need: you need to heal your childhood wounds and stop looking for you parents in your partners.

4). THE SPIRIT LOVING EGOIST

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These douchers are the worst. Run like hell from these whack jobs. Under the guise of spirituality, tantra, and some Sanskrit name you can’t pronounce, these guys will convince you they talk to GOD. These guys think they know it all cause their ‘spiritual’ but all they really do is feed off your tender spirits looking for answers. These guys have power complexes larger than life. They are looking to be your guru and are just as bad as Catholic Priests who molest choir boys. No type needs their ego stroked more than the Spirit Loving Egoist. You know you are in the presence of one of these types when everything in you feels like you need to be saved and this person has all the answers. No one has all the answers so be very wary of spiritual types who think they do. Someone who has your best interest at heart isn’t going to make you feel beneath them or make you get beneath them.

Why you like them: you want answers and you are lost.

What you need: TO FIND YOUR OWN POWER, YOUR OWN ANSWERS, AND YOUR OWN VIEWS. We live in a subjective world and if you don’t trust yourself, you will be abused by people who like to feed off lost souls and have God Complexes.

5). THE WOUNDED WHINER

Men like this are deeply wounded and they like to talk about it. They will share their whole dark life story with you, make you feel sorry for them, and assign you the task of filling their void and tending to their wounds. Problem with these dudes is they are a bottomless pit. No matter what you do, no matter how much you give, no matter how much you care, unless your giving in exhaustible this guy will take everything you’ve got.

Why you like them: you have your own wounds. You want to relate. You think if you can save him or heal him, you’ll get your needs met.

What you need: TO HEAL YOUR OWN WOUNDS and LOOK FOR MEN WHO TAKE OWNERSHIP OF THEIR PAIN AND DON’T BURDEN YOU.

6). THE SAVIOR

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If you are looking for a hero or someone to save you from the fiery pits of hell, this man will saddle up and carry you across the threshold. Everything this guy does for you he secretly wants you to do for him. He might play the hero, but he needs to be saved worse than you do.

Why you like him: you’re a dreamer and you don’t want the personal responsibility for saving yourself. It’s much better to have a Knight in Shining Armor come for you.

What you need: to save yourself. No one can save you and if you give someone that power over you, it will come back to bite you. I can guarantee it.

7). THE TORTURED SOUL

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I have been a sucker for tortured souls in my time. They are a little mix of all these types. They might choose one vice, one thing he is super passionate about and then they meet you. The girl who wants to be in the dungeon with them. These guys are more terrified to open their heart and connect than the wounded whiner. The wounded whiner needs to be loved. The tortured soul is up, down, all  around. Hot, cold, yes, no, in and out. He’s been in HELL a long time.

Why you like him: you are tortured too and misery loves company.

What you need: you need to realize that two of you in the same boat is not magic, it is hell. Indulging the tortured aspects of you doesn’t help you, it keeps you enslaved. If you want to transcend your own tortured soul you need to find men who have healed their wounds and men who want to be liberated from their shit.

8). THE BULLY

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Bullies are dangerous. These types of men will hit you without a second thought and then apologize profusely or sometimes not. These men are jealous, arrogant, insecure, and you are nothing more than a piece of property to these times of men. If a man raises a hand to you, you need to leave. They have no sense of honor, pride, decency and they cannot control themselves. They have to project their anger. They will rip you to shreds. He will hurt you.

Why you like them: you were probably abused as a child or you were beat down by your parents verbally and emotionally.

What you need: stop reenacting the worst pain of your life. You all gravitate toward what you know and if what you know is abuse, run from it at all costs. Actions speak louder than words, and even if you love someone NO ABUSE is LOVE.

9). THE CONTROL FREAK

A control freak isn’t always easy to spot. Sometimes the tendencies take awhile to rear their face. Signs of a control freak are the don’t support your need for alone time, they snidely comment on how you spend money or comments frequently about how you do things. They are extremely opinionated and thinks they’re perfect. You are always the problem and if you would just see the light, HIS WAY, everything would be gravy. BARF.

Why you like them: you have a mother or father who controlled you and it’s what you know. Or you are a masochist and you get off on prison break endings in your relationships.

What you need: to make your own choices and find men that respect you. Control freaks don’t respect anyone. Not even themselves.

10). THE UNATTAINABLE

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Emotionally unavailable men are good at giving you scraps. These guys will give you the run around, keep you hanging on, give you just enough to keep  you hooked and rarely ever follow through. They’re self involved. Narcissists. These men are loaded with excuses and don’t really give a fuck about much. If they don’t show up, if they aren’t consistent, if they want you when they want you and then doesn’t, girl you’d better ask yourself whether you want a roller coaster for a man or someone who can show up.

Why you like them: you like a challenge, the thrill of the chase and you are arrogant. You think you will be the exception. It a total ego trip on your part. You want what you can’t have.

What you need:  A MAN THAT DOES WHAT HE SAYS AND SAY WHAT HE MEANS.

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I want to dedicate this to Graham White, who started the FB page WHAT EVOLVED WOMEN WANT. You remind me of who I am. You don’t even know me and yet  you know me better than most. I appreciate every word you have bestowed. You remind me not to shrink, not to worry about saying FUCK, and to lead. Thank you for reflecting truth.

Thank you, Graham. Men have a lot to learn from you.

Great article. I’m in need of some perspective, any feedback is appreciated 🙂
I’m in a relationship for a while now, and I honestly can’t tell truth from distractions, reasons from intuition, head from heart, yes from no, etc.
He is very devoted to me, always showering me with love and affection and grand statements. He worships me sexually. He would do anything for me, which is likes to remind me often. And yet – something about it doesn’t quite “reach me” (deeply) even though I want it to and enjoy it.
He totally agrees with my desires to grow, face childhood issues, be real, learn to communicate, etc etc – and he can TALK about it forever – but god damnit do I ever have to look hard to SEE any change, any ownership, any realness.
Am I trying to change him? Is it all me? What am I missing?
Am I wasting time believing in his potential?
If I just move on (painfully), will I just “take my issues” to the next possible man?
I hear so many jumbled opinions on relationships – from one extreme to the other – like this article vs. ones about “love is work and dedication” and ones about “the only thing missing from any situation is what you aren’t bringing to it” (Katie Byron?), etc etc, and they all feel true in some sense, but its still confusing – plus I can’t tell whats true INSIDE ME!
There are a million reasons to stay. A million reasons to go.
He is a good man. I am a good woman.
BUT is the “not working” a real reason to move on, or is it me giving up on love? Could I simply need to try something different (my goodness do I ever try)?
Please help.
Also, sorry for the major rambling I’m doing here. If I wanted it to sound perfect and lovely, I doubt I’d get this out there!
Thank you kindly.

Kelly- Yes, once again, very accurate depiction of many of the men in our world. I wonder what your thoughts are on women too. Having an understanding of one’s emotions is not something many men know anything about. For most, we are told to “not cry” and not submit to our truest feelings. So in reality, it’s no surprise that men are emotionally stunted. Thank you for actually having the courage to speak it out loud!
I wonder what it’s like for you each morning when you open your eyes?
Grant

Omg this is spot on! The last guy I dated was a combination of the user, the emotional baby and the control freak… also loved a tortured soul once. God I’m so over all of it!!! Thank you for writing this post so I can now recognize one of these types in an instant and do it movin!

Spot on in many cases, these are real archetypes.
Youve delved very deeply into these Psychologies, its like reading a book. This info could help alot of people.

Your writing helps build awareness, that is what it is doing, thats a major purpose of it.

You see the issue is, awareness is the key. Half of the people out there just do not know they even need help.

Your write up does help lighten up awareness however, great work.

Your writing has piqued my interest in a rather inspiring way. The classifications of men are pretty much correct; although, I have known quite a few that blur the lines a bit (I’m a trade worker and a guy’s guy – a girl friend of mine recently dubbed me the Lone Cowboy though the definition is obvious, the meaning eludes me). I am curious of your thoughts regarding my current pickle of a situation. If you have the time and it doesn’t cross a line: chris.roush@gmail.com

Wow. I think I’ve dated all of them.
I woke up out of a dream of one of my exes this morning,
the details don’t matter, so much as the fact that my first
thought was ‘I’ve just broken up with self-sabotage’ &
then I found this article.
Man I think if the people we date are our mirrors, I am so full of
issues, I couldn’t even look at myself til now. Wow.
Thank you.

This is one of the best articles I have read in two years! This summed it all up. I am saving this. Thanks!